I always thought of this word whenever something or someone came and built a solid, tough wall between you and your desire. I said to myself - this is pretty much an unfair life. Questions came striking inside my mind - Why can't I do it like others did? Why do you have to stop me? Why do you have to control me all the time? Somehow, these questions had their own answers, of course, I provided the answers such as - Well babe, you ain't got enough power to do it on your own, you still need someone, she's/he's right, you know, you're a lady, it's too dangerous, you really need someone to do it with you.
I told myself, trillions of times, that I could manage everything on my own, yet parts of me needed an attachment. This attachment was more or less, another person that can guarantee my act won't destroy me or others. I can call this person as a back-up. (Sounds like I am such a selfish person). Yes, I needed that someone to achieve that so-called, freedom, that I wanted.
I remembered that one day when I had this relaxing conversation with a colleague. He's somewhere in his 40's or perhaps heading to it (Gosh, so ignorant of other people's age). We were alone when we talked about being independent in making decisions in life. I told him that a friend of mine wanted to live far apart from his parents (obviously, I meant myself - I put it as someone else's story) just to have freedom. He later asked - what does your friend mean by freedom? I simply said - well, he does not want his parents to control him all the time, he lives by his own and do what he wants and to be with whoever he wants to be with. He said to me - freedom, many people think they can escape freedom by marriage, but it is NOT. The biggest mistake will be made when you sign up for marriage to an exchange with freedom.
I did not really know my own stand on freedom. Recalling on things I had done, so far, I was completely free from everything. Even now, I HAVE MY FREEDOM. I realise, I do not really need a back-up-human in any plans I have. If you want to accomplish something, it is better to do it on your own. Hoping someone to do it for you, will take forever for that desire to become a reality. Get up and start working. The road ahead is a complete mystery and unknown to your future.
XoXo
