Monday, August 1, 2016


I don't really like it when people keep on pestering you on something that may involve decision making - more to bad choices. I have been dealing with all these workloads and non of them are pleasing me. I love working, however, the environment does not support me much. I did all that adaption and adoption - it worked...not for long.

I got this responsibility of knowing where the items are. We paid. The cheque went through. They said they will post the item after Raya holidays. If I were to count, well, the cheque was delivered somehere in the third week of June. The proceeding week, the cheque can be cleared within 2-3 days. I called them for clarification. Money had been cashed out. Yes, if according to the dates, a week before Raya would be hectic to anyone as they were preparing for the celebration. 

The game began when raya ended. I purposely did not call for the reason of packaging and all. Then days after days, weeks after weeks, so I called. The person asked me to leave my phone number. It had been done before when I asked about the cheque. I left my phone number. The audit needed to check the balance and based on procedure, items should be in by now.

This has embark my anger since "these" efficient people did not respond at all. Thus, I called. High-pitched voice and with deep stressed, I asked for the items. I need the product. As usual, "Please leave your phone number. We will call you back." There, I blew! 

"If I were to give my phone number this time, it will be the third time. I am only asking, when are you going to send the product? I have been pestering by someone else's about this. Until when will I get it?!"

After that, it was all history. I don't prolong bad vibes. Let bygone be bygone. Well, even so, I will never forget.


Friday, July 22, 2016

That very special day...

Yes, it is a late post. I was so excited with Raya holidays that I completely lost track of the date. Counting up till that date, I could not believe that it has been 3 strong years with you. Of course, the counting is still on. I don't really have to count cause I know, you'll always be there for me. Thank you for everything. I love you so much.



I always thought of this word whenever something or someone came and built a solid, tough wall between you and your desire. I said to myself - this is pretty much an unfair life. Questions came striking inside my mind - Why can't I do it like others did? Why do you have to stop me? Why do you have to control me all the time? Somehow, these questions had their own answers, of course, I provided the answers such as - Well babe, you ain't got enough power to do it on your own, you still need someone, she's/he's right, you know, you're a lady, it's too dangerous, you really need someone to do it with you.

I told myself, trillions of times, that I could manage everything on my own, yet parts of me needed an attachment. This attachment was more or less, another person that can guarantee my act won't destroy me or others. I can call this person as a back-up. (Sounds like I am such a selfish person). Yes, I needed that someone to achieve that so-called, freedom, that I wanted.

I remembered that one day when I had this relaxing conversation with a colleague. He's somewhere in his 40's or perhaps heading to it (Gosh, so ignorant of other people's age). We were alone when we talked about being independent in making decisions in life. I told him that a friend of mine wanted to live far apart from his parents (obviously, I meant myself - I put it as someone else's story) just to have freedom. He later asked - what does your friend mean by freedom? I simply said - well, he does not want his parents to control him all the time, he lives by his own and do what he wants and to be with whoever he wants to be with. He said to me - freedom, many people think they can escape freedom by marriage, but it is NOT. The biggest mistake will be made when you sign up for marriage to an exchange with freedom. 

I did not really know my own stand on freedom. Recalling on things I had done, so far, I was completely free from everything. Even now, I HAVE MY FREEDOM. I realise, I do not really need a back-up-human in any plans I have. If you want to accomplish something, it is better to do it on your own. Hoping someone to do it for you, will take forever for that desire to become a reality. Get up and start working. The road ahead is a complete mystery and unknown to your future.


Sunday, June 12, 2016

The Living Souls

The year of 2016.

It has been a while since my last post, last year.

So many blessings happened and between them, so many crucial decisions to make.
Some challenges came to seek and some obstacles came to tackle too.

A hope for a better year.
Last year was awesome.
This year, should be too.

I believe what makes the days ahead feel great, comes within ourselves.

Yes, it is easy to find it...what more to know it..but we need to learn to feel it, appreciate and love it.


The very word I need for this year.



Wednesday, October 7, 2015


I am done with school but I am still in an on-going one which belongs to other person. Yes, I still feel like I am at the institute.

In addition, what's wrong for someone to be romantic?
You're with me and you're acting like you don't.
Or is it me who cares so much about the romance?


Saturday, August 29, 2015

Between the Lines

I am here. I don't go anywhere. My feet step no further than a town. I am alone. How I wish.

It breaks me. I admit it. I crumble down into pieces. It hurts. Very.

I fail to understand. I fail to tolerate. I have failed you.

Oh how I am hurt. I always love you. Even if it hurts, I love you. So much.


Thursday, August 6, 2015

What Made of You

Your feet,
Never touched solid ground,
Covered with gold shoes,
Topped with rhinestones.

Your hands,
Soft like the baby cottons,
Embellished pure white gold chains with rubies,
Shinning and glittering with diamonds.

Your head,
Silky hair smelt with vanilla,
Crowned with foolishness and irrelevant proud,
Watching down from crumbled castle.

Have a nice day